I still remember the morning so vividly, when my “perfectly planned” day came undone.
I had a big event coming up. My outfit was crisp, my shoes shone brighter than my future, my accessories were on point, and my laptop was charged to 100%—a rare miracle in itself, and I even gave myself enough time to stop for coffee on the way. Life was good—until it wasn’t. The universe decided my car battery should die right there in my apartment parking lot. I sat behind the wheel, turning the key over and over again, whispering, “Not today, please, not today.” But no. The car remained as lifeless as a goldfish won at a carnival.
In that moment, my stress level went through the roof. My inner monologue was dramatic: “This is it. I’m doomed. My life is over. I’ll be living under a bridge by Friday.”
Of course, none of that happened. I called a cab, gave my presentation (with only slightly sweaty palms), and eventually replaced the battery. But that morning reminded me of a universal truth: no matter how carefully we plan, life has its own ideas.
And sometimes, those ideas are wildly inconvenient.
The unexpected can throw us off balance, whether it’s small (a traffic jam, a lost phone) or massive (a job loss, a breakup, a health scare). But while we can’t control it happening, we can control how we respond.
Here are five practical and hopeful tips to help you keep going when life flips the script.
1. Pause Before Reacting
When things suddenly go wrong, our instinct is to panic. Adrenaline spikes, our thoughts race, and suddenly, a minor problem feels like the end of the world.
That’s why the first step is to pause. Just for a moment.
Take a deep breath. Better yet, take three. Step outside. Splash cold water on your face. Whatever grounds you. Your mind under stress is like a carbonated drink that’s been shaken—give it a moment to settle before you try to handle it.
As a little trick, I sometimes ask myself: “Will this matter a year down the line?”
Mostly, the answer is no. And if it will matter, the pause still gives me space to respond thoughtfully instead of chaotically.
“Life is 10% what happens to us and 90% how we react to it.” — Charles R. Swindoll
2. Shrink the Problem Down
The unexpected often feels overwhelming because we zoom out too far. We start thinking about all the possible consequences at once, and suddenly the problem feels enormous.
Instead, shrink it down. Ask: “What’s the very next step I can take?”
- Car broke down? Step one: call roadside assistance.
- Lost your job? Step one: update your résumé.
- Flight cancelled? Step one: find coffee (and maybe a pastry, because carbs help).
By focusing on the next small step, you stop your brain from spiralling into “my whole life is falling apart” mode. You only need to do the next right thing, not everything all at once.
Or as Anne Lamott once said:
“Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes, including you.”
3. Anchor into Routine
When life feels unstable, routine is like a safety net. You may not be able to tame the chaos, but you can lean on simple daily habits that bring you steadiness.
Think of them as anchors:
- Making your bed in the morning
- Journaling for 10 minutes
- Brewing your favourite tea
- Walking the same loop around the block
These little habits remind your brain, “Not everything is falling apart. Some things are steady.”
When I was going through a stressful season, my morning coffee ritual was sacred. For those few minutes, I wasn’t worrying about the future—I was just stirring sugar into my mug and breathing. And somehow, that helped me tackle bigger problems with a calmer mind.
4. Lean on Your Circle
Here’s a secret: strong people don’t go it alone. They lean.
When the unexpected happens, call a friend, text your sibling, or confide in someone you trust. Sometimes just saying, “This happened, and I’m freaking out” is enough to release half the pressure.
And don’t worry about “bothering” people. The people who love you, will show up for you..
As Brené Brown reminds us:
“Connection is why we’re here; it is what gives purpose and meaning to our lives.”
So, make the call. Allow others to show you that the weight isn’t yours to carry alone.
5. Hold Space for Both Fear & Hope
When the unexpected happens, fear is natural. Fear of the unknown, fear of what’s next, fear that things won’t work out. Instead of pretending it’s not there, acknowledge it—and then invite hope to sit beside it.
Try this exercise:
- On one side of a page, write: “What I’m afraid of.”
- On the other side, write: “What is still possible.”
For example:
- Fear: “I lost my job. What if I can’t find another?”
- Possibility: “Maybe this is my chance to find work I actually enjoy.”
Holding both fear and hope at once creates balance. It allows you to admit, “Yes, this is hard” while also saying, “Yes, something good could still come out of it.”
It’s like carrying two bags—one heavy, one light. The heavy one slows you down, but the light one keeps you moving. Together, they make the journey bearable.
A Soft Whisper to Remember
The unexpected will always arrive, usually uninvited and at the worst possible time (because of course your laptop only crashes five minutes before the big deadline, never the day after).
But you’ve faced the unexpected before—and survived. In fact, you’ve survived all of your disastrous days so far. That’s a pretty solid track record.
So, when the next curveball comes—and it will—remember to pause, shrink the problem, lean into routine, reach out to your circle, and hold space for both fear and hope.
And if all else fails, take comfort in the fact that someday, this moment will be just another story you tell with a laugh.
“You never know how strong you are until being strong is your only choice.” — Bob Marley
So, keep going. One breath, one step, one unexpected twist at a time. Because the truth is, if life were completely predictable, it would be boring. And you, my friend, were made for more than boring.
Love,
Divya.